Weekend Wows.. attending the "beautiful people" wedding

So, this past weekend, I attended a friends wedding.  I was excited about going and wearing a dress and heels because lets face, I have not been a dress kinda gal in a long time.

I bought a pretty flowered dress and high heels and was feeling good about what I was going to wear.  Then, there were a million emails flying about what everyone was wearing..  I heard sundress, linen pants, capris and though ****! I am going to be overdressed - damnit I'm going to look like a fool.. how the hell am I going to get  different dress on the day of the wedding.. much angst and I'm sure that Mark was ready to smack me and tell me to get a hold of myself.  I was really really looking forward to playing dress up..

I went back on their website and it said "****tail attire"..so I said, what the hell, maybe my friends will be the dopes.... It turns out that I was actually "middle of the road" and there were some that were dressed to the nines and a few of my friends were way under dressed for the event. (The wedding was some of the NHL hockey official crowd - no players, but many officials - our friend that got married is an NHL ref)

For the first time in I can't remember how long.  It may sounds strange, but I actually felt like I was treated differently - maybe I just felt different and percieved it that way?  But I truly felt like I was one of "them", not an outsider looking in.

I danced the night away, didn't sweat as many as most of the people did and the best part was when I saw one of our friends that moved to Atlanta and he hugged me so tight and told me that I looked so beautiful and it meant so much to me that I wanted to cry.  

We went out afterward and I wore a cute flowy skirt - A skirt I tell you - a freakin' skirt.. by choice!!

Who am I?  I am learning how to be a new me and am emerging a little bit at a time - I shock myself everytime I buy something that "isn't me", because I feel like there isn't any reason why it can't be me - It wasn't the old me.   (Pam, I totally understand wanting to buy the BFF shirt!!)

Well - I know its a ramble - I started this post twice already and then finally decided - WTH - I'm going to post it.. so there!

I am so glad you posted this, Maura... I do totally relate to what you're saying.  Kind of like you feel like you're playing "dress up" in your new skin and it feels wonderful!  And the things you're buying now are your explorations of the "new you" - and it's great that they're not the old you, if that makes any sense.

You're a beautiful butterfly emerging from your chrysalis!

The pics I saw on FB looked wonderful... and totally not surprising!

Karen

Maura,

You most certainly SHOULD post these WOW's! It is the payoff for all the hard work you have done. BTW, You did look so FABULOUS!! I totally understand that you felt that you were treated differently. I have noticed men holding doors for me more often,  even one called me "sweetie"!! I definitely feel a difference in how people treat me. It is a wonderful feeling!

So proud of you!!

Beth

Maura, I love this post - and I'm proud of you for wearing the dress!

This has been a reflective week for me - I am in FL on a solo vacation, so I have been able to connect with friends here and have some "think time", and am totally on my own schedule.

And I can relate so much to being treated differently.

I'm not seeking attention from men, but men have been more courteous. Two or three have said hello when walking by as I sat on the beach waiting for sunset. One engaged me in a conversation about real estate. Another rushed to help me with my bags.

Women do it too. I have been working w/ a realtor here (a long term project) and she called me out of the blue tonight to ask if I'd have dinner with her.

People have just been...nicer. More cordial. Friendly. Engaged with me on a personal level. Communicative.

Are we used to being invisible? Yes, I think we are. To being, as you put it so well, "on the outside looking in"? Oh yeah.

But now...let's just join life, and have a good time ok? I think we are long overdue!

Being invisible is a good way to put it - you are right, holding doors, at the bar on several occassions (yes I did have a few glasses of wine), I had a few men move out of the way to let me go before them and I was shocked. 

I have always been a friendly person and most times have been the one to say hello first and I find that the tides have turned and more often than not, others are saying hello first.  It's great, but it really stinks that the treatment is that much different that it is so noticeable to all of us.

It makes me happy and sad at the same time.

Hi Maura.

I have a thought on what you wrote.  I do think that people see you differently now but I also think that you may be presenting yourself differently as well.  As a people watcher and a person who observes behavior for a living, ive seen a lot of people who maybe dont like themselves or dont like how they look and they tend to avoid eye contact, keep to themselves and dont tend to engage with others easily.  When that happens it makes it even more likely that "the other" people will ignore them.  I think that how you feel about yourself now is allowing you to put yourself out there and people are taking notice!  Good for you!  Im not trying to dismiss how insensitive and cruel "the others" can be but I tend to look at both sides of this dichotomous relationship to see whats going on.  Having said all that....what I really wanted to say is that I checked out your facebook pics and I think that you are looking both beautiful and happy.  Im very happy for you!
Swede

Congratulations on wearing the dress and rocking it at the wedding - I'm so happy to hear that you weren't afraid to show some skin and had a great time doing it!! Awesome WOW, along with a lot of other ones.

As for the new 'attention' you're getting I've realized that its not that people are necessarily friendlier to smaller people, but as big, fluffy people we tend to try and shrink into the background - not stand out as much because we stand out so much with our weight. I've always been perceived as an outgoing, very confident person, even when I was fluffy, but I realize now that I wasn't even close to what I am now - I will walk up to people and strike up conversations - I will smile and say a big thank you for men holding doors for me - I enjoy getting 2nd glances now because I know they're not because I'm so big, but because I'm more 'normal' looking. I really think as we shed the pounds we're also shedding that protective bubble we built around ourselves to keep from getting hurt by the nasty looks or loose comments about our weight.

So get out there and enjoy that new confidence you're showing!! Enjoy it - enjoy the attention - you've worked hard for it and earned it!!

Kathy

Absolutely love your post and I am so glad you chose to share it. I am still having alot of trouble leaving my "comfort zone" when I dress. I tend to wear shirts that are too big, and hide under my clothes still. So Hooray for you for wearing the dress and skirt and for feeling great in them. I so get it when you say you feel like "one of them" now. I totally get that feeling alot. I am treated differently, but I know that I also carry myself differently and interact with people differently. It is wonderful what is brought into our lives by all the hard work we have accomplished. Congratulations, and continue to share your wows.

Karen & Beth - Thank you!! 
Swede & Kathy - Thank you - I appreciate the insights and I am sure it probably is a mix of me and "them".   And Swede - thank you for the sweet comments - I truly am happy!

Belinda - try it - buy something outside of your comfort zone - then post on here about it!  I'll be waiting!

Damn right you wear whatever the heck you want - and I'm SURE you looked amazing!  I'm soooo glad you decided to stick with the original outfit.  Being over dressed is ALWAYS better than being under dressed.  And if it makes YOU feel good on the inside, those feelings overflow to the outside, and people can SEE how good you feel.

Such an awesome post.  And absolutely you should ALWAYS post ramblings here - that's the best type of post!!!!!!!